This tumblr has really served it’s purpose. It’s no longer really used for the same things I had set it up for. When I started this, I had an idea of running something along the lines of a pre-tumblr blog. Where I documented my life, my struggles in long text posts. And I achieved that. Over the past 10 months, and even the months before that before deleting my first tumblr with the same domain due to fear of the police I wrote many text posts documenting my life. But this tumblr documented something quite significant to me. This tumblr began at the end of a romanticised summer, with a girl and the drugs which had a great promise, the festivals, the beginning of my real quest to play music.
Over 10 months this tumblr documented my slow growing disdain for the drugs and the people I had in my life due to the drugs, over the months this blog documented the emotional fallout of a disintegrating relationship with a girl who changed my life, and I apologize for all the really shitty 17 year old whiny posts a couple months back, I really do. But really most of all this tumblr documented the way I changed myself as a result of everything that happened to me, the arrests, the death threats, the vandalism and the assaults made me who I am now, which is something I don’t think a lot of kids can honestly say at this age.
I cut my hair, for the first time since early 2007 in late 2011. I had hair that went down to my stomach, I remember after I cut it I saw a post on tumblr about how cutting your hair is symbolic of changing and cutting away dead weight and dead feelings and memories, and in the wankiest way possible that’s exactly what happened. Through the interest of Chiara I stopped wearing that damn Bathory hoodie that was 5 sizes too big and SCREAMED drug dealer, I started wearing shirts and that plain red sweater that everyone said looked really good on me, it really wasn’t much but the way people interacted with me if I was in the city or something dramatically changed due to the differs in dress. And the most notable change that has amazingly changed my life, shortly after the breakup, I joined two bands Putkah and Wide of the Mark, both of which are gathering me far more shows than Plains ever really did. Putkah is even going to the extent of taking me out the state to make money from playing music, something I think has been nothing more than a dream for Plains since our original inception in 2009. Through my bands (including Plains who stuck with me through all the shit) I’ve met a lot of people, who have been very supportive of me in many ways.
An ex girlfriend today was telling me today how I didn’t post many things complaining about my life anymore. And it really just dawned on me that this blog was a documentation of me changing my life so that I wouldn’t have to make text posts complaining about it anymore. And it’s served it’s purpose. Thanks for reading, everything and anything of mine.